Barbie Girl, In a Barbie World?
I was a senior in high school when that
song came out, and while I remember the refrain, I don’t think I paid a whole
lot of attention to the rest of the lyrics.
It was just a “catchy song.”
So why have I been thinking about this
song lately, you may ask?!
Well, I’ve been reading an amazing book
that deals with the stress we experience specifically as women. It’s
entitled, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle.
Twin sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski
combine their brilliantly scientific minds to take on stress and big topics
like - how in the world are women supposed to live a joyful and fulfilled life
in the midst of a sexist world?! In a
world that is constantly telling women we are too fat, too loud, too selfish
and too ambitious?
Women, if you’ve ever felt frazzled, or
tried to be Superwoman then got discouraged when all the balls didn’t stay in
the air… this book is for you. Go and
pick up Burnout ASAP! (And men, I
hope you’ll keep reading!)
This is no run-of-the-mill,
platitude-filled self-help book… but rather an in-depth naming of what we are
up against, and how we can fight back against the many obstacles to our
well-being.
For all the strides women have made, we
still live in a patriarchal society.
If you doubt that, just look at who is
left as Democratic candidates for President.
If you doubt that, how do we explain the
recent Family Circus cartoon where the boy asks his mom, “Mommy, did you used
to be sexy?” (Patriarchy and age-ism and creepiness, all rolled into one!)
The examples are way too many too
enumerate.
Like all the -isms of the world, patriarchal
systems and structures don’t change so willingly.
Authors Emily and Amelia describe what
they term the “Bikini Industrial Complex.”
You know, the culture that we swim in that makes big bucks off of
women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies.
The culture that sets the “aspirational beauty ideal” that women are
supposed to strive to look like, well… a Barbie doll.
Next time you're out at Target, go take a
look at the Barbie doll aisle. While
Mattel has made some progress in including more skin tones and careers… most all
the Barbies still have the same skinny body type. (To be fair, if you really scour the Internet, you can find some "Curvy Body Type" Barbies.)
The authors state, “The Bikini Industrial
Complex has successfully created a culture of immense pressure to conform to an
ideal that is literally unattainable by almost everyone and yet is framed not
just as the most beautiful, but the healthiest and most virtuous.”[i]
And here’s something they revealed through
their research that floored me… did you know that the Body Mass Index Charts
(BMI) and its labels were created by a panel of nine individuals, seven of whom
were “employed by weight loss clinics and thus have an economic interest in
encouraging use of their facilities?”[ii] Utterly crazy, but sadly
true.
So even health classes had it
wrong, and doctors had it wrong, because their textbooks had it
wrong! Emily and Amelia state, “You’ve
been lied to about the relationship between weight and health so that you will
perpetually try to change your weight.”[iii]
Back to that “Barbie Girl” song… Life in
plastic, it’s not so fantastic! I
sure hope the lyrics are meant as satire, because they are pretty awful. Look them up if you want to, but suffice it
to say that the whole song is a sickening license for men to use and control
and do whatever they want to women.
This might seem like a “downer” of a post,
but ultimately it is a hopeful one.
Because for all of the patriarchy that still exists, there are also a
whole heck of a lot of strong and courageous and powerful women out there. Including you!
Look around and you will find these women
everywhere. Look around and you will
find them not just amongst the outspoken public figures, but also in the people
in your neighborhood. In your
families.
Women who might never make the
headlines, but regardless are persistently doing their part to make their little
corner of the world a better place.
Moving the needle a little more each day so that women are respected and
honored for the amazing people that they are.
As we reflect upon strong and inspiring
women during this Women’s History month, we have much to lift up and
celebrate. And we also still have a long
way to go.
If you are a woman, I highly encourage you
to read Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. (I checked it out from the library, but will
probably buy my own copy… it’s that good!) In it you will find practical
and useful tools for dealing with stress or burnout or self-doubt, or whatever
it is that keeps you from being well. Bonus
for reading it with a friend or a book club!
And if you are a man and have read this
far… thanks! Thanks for not dismissing
this as a “crazy feminist post.” Thanks
for being an ally. Please educate other
males and don’t let “locker talk” or other harmful attitudes about women slide.
And celebrate the women in your life!
Do something unexpected that reduces their
to-do list, even a little bit.
Realize that you don’t need to be female
to be a feminist.
Listen first and speak later. Be aware of group dynamics.
Support young girls and encourage them
often in their dreams.
And call out the “Kens” of the world when
they treat women like “Barbie Dolls!”
Happy Women’s History Month all! Keep on persisting, and making the world a
better place.
[i]
Nagoski, Emily and Amelia. “The Bikini Industrial Complex.” Burnout: The
Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, New York, Ballantine Books, 2019,
p.108.
[ii]
Ernsberger, Paul, and Richard J. Koletsky. “Weight Cycling.” JAMA 273,
no. 13 (1995): 998-99.
[iii]
Nagoski, Emily and Amelia. “The Bikini Industrial Complex.” Burnout: The
Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, New York, Ballantine Books, 2019,
p.108.
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